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I have decided to change my approach to interacting with asexuals who are struggling with articulating their oppression. I hope this can be a valuable resource for the asexual community in making a credible case for their oppression, particularly to queer people who are unimpressed so far.
-Construct a coherent and consistent definition of “asexual” that does not exclude grey-A and demisexual people.
-Construct a coherent and consistent definition of “sexual” that does not include grey-A and demisexual people and does not imply that non-demisexual and non-grey-A people are oversexed, promiscuous, or even necessarily interested in casual sex or any sex at all.
-Construct a coherent and consistent definition of demisexual that does not imply that a huge part of the heterosexual human population, complying with the dominant societal prescription for female sexual behavior, belongs to a sexual minority.
-Decide whether people who fall into these definitions but don’t know about or don’t care about your identity politics count in your oppression or not.
-Demonstrate any compelling pre-Internet link between hetero- and a-romantic asexual people and queer communities.
-Be able to talk about why hetero- and a-romantic asexuals belong in the queer community without implying or outright saying (as one person representing AVEN has) that queer people need you to teach them about this new thing called non-sexual intimacy.
-Be able to illustrate how each instance of asexuals being “oppressed” is specific to those who identify as asexual and does not apply to women with FSD, people low sex drive due to long-term depression or other health reasons, people who abstain from sex due to trauma, gender dysphoria, or any other deeply personal reason, sexual people who are nonetheless alienated by dominant sexual culture, etc.
-Understand the key difference between someone who identifies as asexual and someone who is diagnosed with Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder.
-Be able to recognize that some people may desire treatment options for low/null sex drive without assuming they are asexuals with a false consciousness.
-Omit any examples of “sexual privilege” that women in a misogynistic society and queer people in a heterosexist society do not actually benefit from.
-Learn the complex pre-1990 history of anti-oppression movements, specifically those whose frameworks you are appropriating.
And, most importantly for those of us with materialist leanings:
-Using reliable, concrete data, be able to illustrate how sexual persons, including LGBTQ sexual persons, have better access and opportunities than asexual persons in most if not all of the following categories: housing, education, employment, health care, income, and wealth accumulation.
-Optional: Using reliable, concrete data, be able to illustrate how asexuals are disproportionately policed and imprisoned.
I can promise you, if you can manage even 75% of this, you will be taken a lot more seriously.